what the child hears

Poetry appearing on this page was produced with the generous support of artsACT

This poem is for children.

In autistic child with acute auditory processing disorder  I explored some threatening and frightening aspects of living with hyper-sensitive hearing. This poem tries to find a happier place; to explore how constant contact with all audible sound –  the inability to ignore what most neurotypical people filter out unconsciously - may be a positive and enriching experience.

what the child hears

the sheep are speaking
to the frogs who are speaking
to the ravens who are speaking
to the crickets who are speaking
to the horses who are speaking
to the flies who are speaking
to the trucks on the highway who are speaking
to the ripples in the water who are speaking
to the farm dog who is speaking
to the metal bucket who is speaking
to the dragonfly who is speaking
to the plane who is speaking
to the reeds who are speaking
to the tractor who is speaking
to the mosquitoes who are speaking
to the magpies who are speaking
to the chainsaw who is speaking
to the sulphur-crested cockatoos who are speaking
to the farmer’s wife who is speaking
to the chickens who are speaking
to the frogs who are speaking
to the sheep who are speaking
to me

 

autistic child with acute auditory processing disorder

So here is the poem that led to me writing this book. It got lots of feedback wherever it went, and even won a prize.  I started to feel like there was a lot more where that came from. New Zealand poet and doctor Glenn Colquhoun saw a (much longer) early draft and told me it needed to be a whole collection of poems. I agreed. So did the ACT Government – they gave me a grant to work on it one day a week. Now I am writing it lots of brothers and sisters. The full CircleQuirk collection of autism poems is coming out in April 2012.

This particular poem explores the frightening and bewildering world of an autistic child, assaulted by everyday sounds most of us don’t even notice. Some of what happens in the poem has happened to my son, the rest has happened to children I know.

autistic child with acute auditory processing disorder

in the foetal position in the museum toilets, hands clamped over my ears, shrieking
trying to say there’s a dryer, there’s a dryer, any second now someone will set it off
the sound will be a faceful of boiling water

I’m sorry, your patient explanations are not getting through. It’s a very bad line.

at the indoor swimming pool, crouched behind the waterslide, poo-ing into my damp trunks
trying to say I have to get out, the echoes are attacking me in four dimensions, I’m on a bad trip and I can’t come down

at the washing line, moaning and trying to burrow under the grass
trying to say there’s a bird, there’s a bird, it’s going to swoop down and screech in my ear
the sound will ice-pick my skull

Your cognitive behaviour therapy is not getting through at all. It is a very bad line.

at a birthday party, buried under cushions and wailing like a siren
trying to say I can’t stand it, the music and the voices are tearing at me, pecking me apart

in my bedroom after school, kicking my baby sister in the face
trying to say go away, go away, you’re noisy, you’re unpredictable
I’ve been clinging to a cliff face for six hours and you’re dangling yourself from my ankles

sprinting straight into traffic, terrified of a toy poodle on the footpath
trying to say there’s a dog, there’s a dog, it’s going to bark
the sound will slug me like a sandpaper boxing glove

Your elaborate reward and punishment system, your guilt trips, your lectures, your bellowing and tears aren’t getting through either. This is a very bad line.

Published in Quadrant magazine, Jan-Feb 2011